I see it all so clearly now
"Create the highest grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe." - Oprah Winfrey
If you’re anything like me, you’re obsessed with planning. I catalogue every idea in my Notes app. I meticulously file things away in a well designed Notion template. But as I prepared to enter my 30th birthday, I struggled to imagine what the year and new decade should bring (and yes, I actually try to plan that far out 🫣).
My teens and early twenties were about getting to and through college. The latter half of my twenties were focused on finding my lane and maintaining my stride. But it’s something about my thirties that feels harder to define.
Despite all the vision boarding, planning, praying, and journaling, none of it resonated. I just couldn’t see the bigger picture. I was already lost and confused right at the start of what feels like such a life-defining era.
Overwhelmed, I shared my frustration with my therapist about not being able to set actionable goals for the future. In return she introduced me to a technique called the "Vision Test," and it centered on a single question:
“When it comes to this goal is my vision ‘20/20’, ‘nearsighted’, ‘farsighted’, ‘blurry’, or am I ‘moving blindly’?”
I instantly fell in love with this analogy.
Viewing life through the lens of my vision's state not only showed where I was in the process it helped pinpoint where I needed extra support to make things happen.
I’m giving myself permission to let my goals blossom over time, but here are the five questions I’m asking to assess the clarity of my vision.
In what areas of my life do I feel most in focus?
In doing inventory on my life, it wasn’t hard to see where I had 20/20 vision. My daily spiritual practice has become the strongest it’s ever been and I plan to finish reading the entire Bible this year. I spent the earlier half of this year rebuilding my mental health care team and made major lifestyle changes for my overall wellbeing. I’m even in love with my work-life for the first time in over two years.
In asking this question you not only get a clear view of where you’re starting, you can understand where you’re headed, and everything in between. Even if the journey isn’t fully laid out yet, the vision is so clear that you know the exact direction you’re headed and can take steps towards it every day.
What long-term impact are my current actions creating?
Maybe the end goal isn’t as clear. You might know where you’re starting from and can see what needs to happen right now, but can’t make out how it all fits together in the long-term. That’s because with nearsighted goals you can only focus on what’s directly in front of you. It’s important to learn how to play the tape forward and ask yourself, “if I keep doing this, what will happen?”
Sometimes the outcome is positive; for example, even though I’m getting my ass kicked now, if I keep showing up to Muay Thai every week I’ll not only feel stronger mentally and physically, but my sense of community will also grow. Sometimes the outcome is negative; like while it might have felt good at the time, continuing to drink in the ways I had been would have done more harm than good.
Can I get back to the point of origin?
Farsighted goals are the exact opposite. No matter how clear that end goal is the path towards it is unknown. Getting back to the origin (i.e. figuring out your why) is an important step in unlocking what it is that’s truly motivating you to go after that goal in the first place and take a step towards it.
I know in this season I want to find a community but I couldn’t really picture how to do it. I knew I wanted safe spaces to be open and vulnerable, so my why became simply finding people to share life with. I realized I share life my co-workers, I share life with people I’ve connected with online, at the studio, and on my mini adventures. I share life with people everyday.
Have I defined my values for myself?
Very often I find myself questioning, “is this value mine or someone else's?” When a value is truly mine, everything aligns effortlessly. But when a value belongs to someone else, the vision often becomes blurry because it doesn’t fit into my life. The simple answer is that it wasn’t meant to.
My values define the principles and standards that are most important, which then help guide my goal-setting. When I understand what truly matters, like ambition, fun, curiosity, mindfulness, and bravery it’s easier for action items to fall out of them. By defining your values, you can align your choices more closely with what you believe in, leading to consistency in how you show up for them, even when they’re a little murky.
What can I use to light the path forward?
When my goals lack total visibility I’m blinded to the point where, honestly, I don’t even know what I should be aiming for. It’s like I’m completely in the dark, needing to find a switch that can bring this goal to light.
If I feel like my goal is just completely unimaginable I typically seek inspiration and look for stories, books, or role models who have faced similar uncertainty and see how they navigated their path. Their journeys might inspire and provide a roadmap for my own. I also get feedback from family, friends, and mentors who can offer outside perspectives, advice, and even help clarify my thoughts from a different point of view.
Stepping into my thirties, the path isn’t crystal clear, but I know it's about aligning with what truly matters, understanding the impact of my daily choices, and illuminating the way forward when the destination is hidden in shadows.